Pacifica

by Peter Maybarduk

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credits

released November 10, 2019

Written and performed by Peter Maybarduk

Recorded, mixed and produced by J. Robbins and Eamonn Aiken

Arrangements by Peter Maybarduk, J. Robbins, Eamonn Aiken and the musicians represented on each song

Cellos by Gordon Withers and Kate Rears
Drums by Darren Zentek and Sriram Gopal
Wonderful singing by Emily Crockett, Shawna Potter, Melinda St. Louis, Lila Benavente, Kate Rears Burgman and J. Robbins
Lead guitars by Ben O'Donnell and John Balsley
Bass on "Meet Me in the Middle" by Scott Charney
Piano on "Meet Me in the Middle," keys on "Star Field Below" by Emily Crockett

Mastered by Dan Coutant
Art by Daumantas Kazdailis

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Peter Maybarduk Washington, D.C.

Peter Maybarduk is a Washington, D.C.-based songwriter and director of Public Citizen's global access to medicines program.

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Track Name: Meet Me in the Middle
Meet me in the middle darling, meet me in the cold
And let your sadness go.
Meet me in the middle darling, play another note
We could come on home.

No one takes a ride up the Eiffel Tower tonight.
No one takes a ride; we will argue all night.
No one takes our side
At the fault between
Your life and mine.

So meet me in the middle darling, meet me in the cold
Bring your sorrow.
We will find a warm place, a pageant of our own
With the river Seine below.

No one takes a ride in the Eiffel tower tonight.
No one takes your side; no one gives up being right.
In our sleepless night
Still I wait, still I wait I
Wait for our life.

So meet me in the middle darling, read the lines I wrote
I meant every note.
Meet me in the middle darling; before we get too old
And we could come on home.

I dream of a place
Where we meet in peace.
Still I wait
For the person I believe
You can be.
Still I wait, still I wait.
Track Name: Star Field Below
I’m in our lovely dream where we still relate
The quiet comes between and follows day to day.
And if there’s nowhere in this waking world to go …

I want to meet you in some star field below
No one leaves without some cruelty to show
I want to meet you in some star field below
Will you meet me in the hollow?
Will you meet me in the hollow?

We’re losing simple dreams, forced from without
Like every satellite falls from your awful mouth.
There’s nothing for us here, we really must go
Now!

I want to meet you in some star field below
No one leaves without some cruelty to show
I want to meet you in some star field below
Will you meet me in the hollow?
Will you meet me in the hollow?

Everybody needs some time; everybody needs a neutral place.
Everybody get some time; everybody wants to get away.
Star fields colliding, star field below
Star fields colliding, star field below.

Lashes of our quiet life stalk us as we go
Let’s race ahead into some extra-hollow
Something’s twisted in you
Love I know.
So come visit other fields with me where we finally make it whole.

Everybody needs some time; everybody needs a neutral place.
Everybody get some time; everybody wants to get away.
Star fields colliding, star field below
Star fields colliding, star field below.
Track Name: Discontents
Under the red lights you speak a word for human rights
And change cannot prevent our discontent.
We flourish, we fail, we fall into the lights, the jails, the channels too.
And all along the canal, the lantern lights singled out
And though we don’t believe, be with me beautiful, be with me.

I hear a voice from the depths ask, “Have you ever been in love?”
Oh God, oh yes. And all the years as they pass
I love people more and like them less.

Van Gogh’s colored nights remind you of Soviet times.
Will we ever find? A respite.
We flourish, we fail, we fall into the rights, details, the killing room.
We’re the discontents of almost all events
And though there’s no reprieve, be with me beautiful, be with me.

I hear a voice in my head ask “Have you ever been in love?”
Oh God, oh yes. And all the years as they pass
I love people more and like them less.

Has it ever occurred to the men who live on words
A suicide is everyone’s fault?
We drive the different to the mind of no return
And it’s mostly our loss when they fall.

We drive the different, hey-ai! We drive the different; you and I.
We drive the different, hey-ai! We drive the different; you and I.

I love people more and like them less.
Track Name: All That's Left
Here is the house where we slept, try as I may to forget
You are the place I long have come to rest
How I live with the regret.
One man’s obsession is another’s merely dreaming on the wall
I’m the last of the believers falling through it all.

With an ease of breath of night, talking to the end of life
I need time. To wander losing touch
A lovely view of nothing much
Learn to live without illusion, or a different kind.
Coming out for a refusal in the last days of your life.

Turn your eyes up to the rains
Something greater there remains
Take my hand and twirl with grace
If we learn to wait and …

All the love that lies beneath
Every layer of the sea
Everything happens by dreams
All the edges crumble…

Won’t you come and speak your anger to me?
Until love is all that’s left.
Won’t you come until you fall right through me?
Until love is all that’s left!
Won’t you come and speak your anger to me?
Until love is all that’s left.
So briefly bold, now are we shrinking, darling?
Until love is all that’s left!

Until love is all that’s left. Until love is all that’s left.
Track Name: Failed States
All of the lies that light our world
Are yours for the taking
In the land where nothing works.
Like losing our home
At low market worth.

Until we accede
To the ire of the thieves
I may ask you to come over
I may ask you not to leave.
I may ask you to come over
I may ask you not to leave.

And the failed states we’re in
Leave no means to mend
The withered silhouettes
Like whispers of dissent
For these failed states we’re in.

Well I’m older it seems
Than yesterday.
And it will not feel long
‘til I’m gray and for the grave.

So I work to make a mark
But I think it’s just a waste
I may ask you to come over
I may ask you if you’d stay.
I may ask you to come over
I may ask you if you’d stay.

Into the laws of low
Hollow events unfold
Until the water slows ...

And the failed states we’re in
Leave no means to end.
Our wills bend
Like whispers of dissent
For these failed states we’re in.

Pleasing new shapes of our deceit
Take from the commons
Save the ire of the thieves.
And all is still
‘til we fall to the sea
All is still
‘til the quake beneath
And all we can do is make meaning.

I may ask you to come over
I may ask you not to leave.
I may ask you to come over
I may ask you not to leave.
Track Name: Apart! Together
No one ever danced like we did
In the days, in the dark
No one ever danced like we did in the days
In the dark

We fell apart, together
In each other's arms, and did not wonder whether
We went too far
Make revolution again at 4am
We fell apart, together.

We danced as we wanted and where we wanted
And to whatever songs we wanted to.
We danced how we wanted and dressed as we wanted
Or not dressed at all
Those rumors are true.

We fell apart, together
In each other's arms, and did not wonder whether
We went too far
Make revolution again at 4am
We fell apart, together.

Eso, swing low, eso
The higher notions
Perpetual motions
Like Emma Goldman knows.

No one ever danced like we did
And I can't dance like that on my own.
One day when we're old & gray
And our partners aren't around to complain
We'll take each other in these arms
And dance like no one ever did again.

We fell apart, together
We fell apart, together
We fell apart.
Track Name: No One Gets Free
No one gets free. There's a hollows for each
And after I leave I will dream

Of our school by the thieves; something of us never leaves.
Darling, do you love, do you need? Even the hollows in me.

All of our faults lie in these walls; follow and never resolve
Harder lives, lasting lies, and truth is the hardest of all.

I have been so changed. Darling don't look away
Someone to love might remain.

We're as dark as the sea, but we'll know what's swimming beneath
Darling, do you love, do you need? Even the hardest in me.

We belong with a certain élan; secrets that never move on
Harder lives, lasting lies, and truth is the hardest of...
All of our faults lie in these walls. Follow and never resolve
As we stare, there is always more we will bear
Like the murder of Lionel St. Hillaire.
There is always more we will bear.

And it seems, we're as dark as the sea
But we'll know what's swimming beneath
Darling, do you love, do you need? Even the hardest in me.

Darling, are we all of the same? Darling, more pleasure than pain?
And it seems, in our school by the thieves
Something of us never leaves.

No one ever gets free, no one ever gets free
But everything’s perfect for me.
Track Name: All of Whom I Love
In time, if we find some calm
Among the kids on their motorbikes in Viet Nam
I’ll be searching still for that common life
Here where men are all dirt in God’s eyes.

A thinker, feeler could make things clearer
Makes me feel nearer, like no one I know.

All of whom I love, all of whom I love
All of whom I love oh God my love.

We are older; we’ll find calm in the noise
Like these gardens I walk off the streets of Ha Noi.
When your soul cries out from across the earth
I sing lai di dai, lai di dai; nary a word.

Father, mother, every lover
Can only be small comfort.
Turn inward now again

All of whom I love, all of whom I love
All of whom I love oh God my love.

I’m looking for a silent soul
Who comes with me where beauty goes.
Looking for that silent soul
Who comes with me where beauty goes.
Why can’t I?

All of whom I love, all of whom I love
All of whom I love oh God my love.
Track Name: Where Is Your Heart?
All of these days I've believed
You'll find a way to be free again
In my messages out to the sea
We've spoken of everything.

Tell me where, where is your heart?
Where, where is your heart?
Tout la meme chose, right from the start
Where, where is your heart?

Ashes of the ocean lashing softly at us
Somewhere there's a queendom crashing over
Ending our dream.

Wish I could share what I've seen
Wish I could somehow share everything
Everyone's worse than they seem
Escaping serenity.

Tell me where, where is your heart?
Where, where is your heart?
Tout la meme chose, right from the start
Where, where is your heart?

We cannot know where we follow
Blue into greens, blue into greens
Find us a craft we can borrow
To the end of the sea, end of the sea
The end of the sea.

Waking alone in the night
And I may be alone ever through this life.
Make preparations, make time
It's customary it's fine.

Tell me where, where is your heart?
Where, where is your heart?
Tout la meme chose, freedom from harm
Where, where is your heart?
Track Name: Song for Bohn
I’ve been looking at your light
And I’ve been seeing through your eyes
I am surrounded by your love
Holds me like a ransom for the life we barely missed
Pours o’er the transom like heaven’s little kiss.

And at the end of all our time
I pour another glass of wine
So we might celebrate his life
That’s given of the richest love we’d ever hope to give
That took away a life maybe were we meant to live?

Oh our Bohn, oh our Bohn, oh our Bohn.

I am so grateful for your love
For the life we made through love
I miss him every single day
Called away by some accident of fate
I’m certain it was gentle as his life just slipped away
Something wells inside me now with every life we take.

Just a little song for Bohn
A song for little Bohn
Our loved little Bohn.

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